An Ordinary Chessboard
by DaftPenguinofDoom
Summary: Because EVERYONE insists on chess... MMAD, absolutely MMAD. French Happens. Un projectile. one shot


There it was; a plain ordinary chessboard. Well, ordinary, that is to say, that it was not a wizarding chessboard. Otherwise, it would be quite ordinary indeed. The pieces were not in any particular design or fashion, just ordinary wooden chess pieces on a marble and ebony chessboard. Minerva was perplexed at how such a thing should exist. It was ingenious.

"Albus…" she shouted eyebrow raised. She tilted one of the pieces looking at it curiously. How did it work?

"Yes?" he answered from the back room. He splashed cologne on his face and swished back his hair with a comb.

"How does this work?"

"What?" he said emerging, toweling his face.

"I thought we were going to play chess," she said putting her hands on her hips.

"I thought we were, too," he said smiling.

"Well?"

"Well what?" he asked pulling up his suspenders over his undershirt.

She sat down and looked up at him, "How does it work?"

The corner of his mouth tipped. He draped the towel over his shoulder, "You pick up the pieces, like this" he lifted a piece and looked at her, rolling it in his fingers, "And you set it down," he set it down with finality, "like this."

"Like that?" she asked looking into his eyes, pointing at the piece.

"Like that."

"Just like that…?"

"Just like that." he said leaning on the table.

"Well, how do you take out other pieces if they don't move on their own?"

"Minerva, you are a smart girl, figure it out."

"But…!"

But he was already back into his bathroom.

"You pick up the pieces," she raised a piece, "like this," she said to herself, testing it out, "and you set it down," she slammed the piece down, "like this."

"With not so much force," he said emerging again with his blue evening robes on.

"Oh… right… will the pieces stay if I don't?"

"Of course, silly,"

She looked riled, "I have never played with such muggle contraptions as this,"

"Muggle… contraptions?" he looked at her skeptically, "Honestly… contraptions?"

"Well… maybe not a contraption… but… object… per say?"

"You must be joking," he said sitting down conjuring himself a hot chocolate.

"Well… I…. my family is pureblood! How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Conjure food like that… I've never seen anyone do that…"

"What? Like this?" he gave her a cup of tea out of thin air.

"Yes, like that… do you have house-elves prepare it and send it to you or something?"

"What? Of course not! What sense is there in doing that? I do it myself. I'm skilled."

"This tea _is_ perfect… how did you know I like two sugars?"

"I'm observant."

"Indeed," she said over the top of her cup, "and we're not conceited at all,"

"Not in the least. It wasn't I who went on bragging about how _I _could beat any chess player in the Wide World of Wizards,"

"I can… at least… I've beaten everyone I've played…"

"I'm sure you have,"

"Are we going to play or not?" she asked getting agitated. She pulled up the tartan blanket around her, "Where did this come from?" she said looking at it.

"I had it brought up,"

"From where?"

"Your room,"

"What? You had someone go into my room?"

"What? Have a boggart in your closet you're hiding?"

"What?"

"What?"

There was silence.

"Let's just play,"

"Your move first."

"I don't want to move first,"

"What? Scared of the pieces?"

"No…"

"Then what?"

"Fine! I'll go!" she picked up a pawn and slammed it down on the board and crossed her arms and legs, leaning back into the seat, a bottom lip jutted out.

"Careful, now! This is my grandfather's set!"

She stuck her tongue out.

"Oh, that's mature," he said amused as he placed his piece.

The game went on and was left to a rook, a bishop, two pawns and a king.

"Checkmate."

"Impossible."

"Check_mate_."

"Impossible,"

"Look!"

"No!"

There was a sigh, "You've beat me! I really can't believe it!"

"Believe it."

"Well. It was a rough game. I wouldn't lose to anyone else,"

"Is that so?"

"Well… I told you… I've never been beaten before,"

"Well, Miss Minerva, it has been a pleasure beating you. Now if you don't mind," he said opening the door for her, "I need some sleep."

"Do you?"

"Don't get saucy with me…"

"Won't I?"

"You won't"

"I could have made it strip chess."

"You wouldn't have made it."

"Well… at least I would have gotten to have a look at your knickers,"

"Minerva, you have a very dirty tongue."

"I know." She said leaning very close to him.

"I'd love to cure you of it." he said leaning equally close.

"You might just have to do that," their hot breath mingled.

"Auf Wiedersehen meine Liebe"

"What did you say?"

"Goodbye, my love,"

"I thought so… don't talk in German, I can't understand it."

"I'd talk to you in French, but I like the way German sounds,"

"Alors, bon soir mon amour,"

« Je t'aime, »

« Oui, »

« N'oubliez pas notre mariage la semaine prochaine, »

« Comment est-ce que je pourrais oublier ? » he grabbed her hands and held them to his heart.

« Tu es très impossible, » she said turning.

« Non ! Je ne suis pas ! »

« Oui ! Tu es ! Et tu es très fou ! »

"Now… this is silly. I won't stand for it," he said turning her back and placing a hot kiss on her full lips, "How could I forget our wedding next week?"

"Mmm, just thought you might what with it being in France and all,"

"My darling, you never give me enough credit." He said nuzzling her neck.

"Honestly… you said you had to get to bed,"

"That," he said straightening, "is unfortunately true."

"Good night, my love" he said again.

"Good night, darling, sleep well,"


End file.
